The Face of Realization
Beyond All Doubt
- by Donald Webley
The first time that I saw Avatar Adi Da was at The Mountain Of Attention Sanctuary, His Empowered Sanctuary in northern California, on May 31, 1980. We were in a covered, open-air building called Land Bridge Pavilion, where He sat silently for about an hour with devotees.
I was instantly struck as He sat there before us, that when I looked at Him it seemed to me that there was "no one there".
When we look at someone, we can feel the "person" behind the face, with all his or her qualities and character. There was no such person behind Avatar Adi Da's face. He was simply there.
Donald receiving Avatar Adi Da's
At the same time there was a quality that I can only describe as Bliss or Happiness that radiated from Him.
In the next moment, however, my mind intervened, "Well, after all, He does have two arms and two legs, so maybe He is an ordinary person." But, in the following moment, my heart would be overwhelmed by His obvious Divinity.
While I could not explain it, and even though it made no sense to the thinking mind, there was a direct communication that spoke loudly to the core of my being.
The dialogue between my thinking mind, over against my feeling heart, continued throughout the entire event.
But at a certain point, Avatar Adi Da began taking questions, and I was completely struck by His embrace of every devotee who arose to speak to Him. He presumed no difference, and demonstrated and revealed only Love in relation to each one.
I approached the microphone and thanked Him for the unexpected opportunity to receive His Darshan, and I thanked Him for having guided my life to that point. I then corrected myself, and thanked Him for having lived my life.
Although I did not think about it at the time, my use of that term was significant — the intuition had been granted, even in that early moment of my relationship to Him, that He is not just a potent Source of Blessing, but that He Is far more than that. He Is, in fact, the Very Divine Person, Who has always been my Spiritual Master, and Who Is, in Person, That Which I had always longed for.
I knew that here, before me, in Living Flesh, was That Which I had always known to be the case, even in the midst of my doubts. It would be many years before I could articulate what was, in that moment, made completely obvious to me.
But His Divine Heart touched my human heart, and I understood Him to be much more than even a very Great Man. His mere Presence communicated something of His Divine and All-Pervading Nature to my thirsting heart.
I was the last person to speak, and shortly afterwards, Adi Da Samraj rose from His seat and strode out of the room. Just after He passed by, I broke into loud, racking sobs. It was so unexpected, and so uncharacteristic of me, that I almost looked around to see who was making the noise.
At the time, I had no idea what had happened, but this was the beginning of my life in Avatar Adi Da's Company.